God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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