You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
