Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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