i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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