Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
