I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Having a random hookup so left but love u
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have aggressive nipples.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
