How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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