maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
