Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
