I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
