You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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