Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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