Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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