My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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