tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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