Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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