put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
