her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
