I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize