Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
birth control should be required to get into college
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
