I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
