When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
