i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
