In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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