It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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