During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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