You're my little dorito
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
