We're like a lot better than the average bears
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
