Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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