you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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