Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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