i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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