I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
