Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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