Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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