I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
