Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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