my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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