9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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