I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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