did you get engaged???
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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