She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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