i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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