I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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