She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
