JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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