I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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