i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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