I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
