This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
