There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
