I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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