Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
