Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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