shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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