You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can't turn off my feet"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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