I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
