Christians are straight up FREAKS
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
